For those of you who live under a rock, China Pearl is a fine Chinese restaurant serving the upstanding citizens of New town only the finest in the cuisine of the Far East. They do this at the remarkably low price of only ten dollars for a huge meal, and excellent service. Entertainment for those patrons who wish to dine in the restaurant will be pleasantly surprised that there is a television where they can catch up on the latest happenings in pro wrestling. It hasn't been proven yet, but I believe John's Hopkins University is doing a study proving that watching overly huge men in spandex throwing other men similarly dressed is a good combatant of indigestion. For those of you who might be interested more in your general surroundings while you eat, you will find that the employees of China Pearl take the utmost care in personal hygiene, as well as the cleanliness of their establishment.
Today the China Pearl delivery guy infiltrated Drayton without delivering any food and took a eighteen minute shit in our bathroom. It was the most concentrated form of MSG legally allowed in the continental United States.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Im so exited
I like it when everything crashes around me like a house of glass. It really makes me feel wonderful.
Tasty Kakes
Tasty kakes are like the voices in my head. They tell me they are good, but everyone else says there is something wrong with me.
Fuck vol. 2
I have a ten page research paper that i have had six months to work on and have absolutely nothing done for it. I am failing english. I was caught with paraphernalia in my room (not allowed), so now my reputation as an awesome, happy person is slandered. My D.C. will be during exam week, which I will have plenty of time to study for because of not being able to achieve inebriation. Today was meatless thursday. My life is fantastic.
Monday, February 21, 2011
My life is fantastic
Today I found out the shirt I decided to wear had a big gaping hole in it. My life is fantastic
imabigfathairyclitoris.com
I have an ingenious idea. This shit is going to go viral, como ebola zaire. It is a website, and it will be called I'm a big fat hairy clitoris.com. The best part about this plan, apart from the fact that it will most definately get me expelled and destroy all chances of me attending an institution of higher study, is that the domain name isn't already taken. That's right, the domain name imabigfathairyclitoris.com has not already been thought up by some other genius.
The second best part about this plan is that a certain advanced IB english teacher (who also happens to be part of the Community Assistance Team) will be the logo, spokesperson, and general subject material of this website. Vice BFHC (big fat hairy clitoris) will be a certain greeter for meeting for worship at a certain quaker high school. This website will be a conglomeration of comical pictures starring and portraying figurative (NOT LITERAL) big fat hairy clitorises. This will not be a porn site (julian...) but a funny site, like FML, or highdeas. (Speaking of highdeas, I came up with a great one on saturday: Ketchup is like the lubricant of the food world. Drugs are bad for you.) The site will also allow for funny comments made by members, like FML and highdeas. An example would be, "Today I woke my husband up, whom I've been married to for twenty years, by turning on the blender at four in the morning. Im a big fat hairy clitoris." LAUGH YOU ASSHOLES, THIS SHIT IS HILARIOUS!!!!!!1
Sunday, January 9, 2011
If a tree falls
If a tree falls and nobody cares, does it matter? A hint for anyone who takes TOK seriously: No
Friendship
It's because we're afraid to tell our closest friends that their innermost thoughts are boring as shit that it is so easy to tell our frieends our innermost thoughts.
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